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| Image credits: Google. |
Guilt. It is
one of the very few emotions everybody would have faced at some point of the
other in their lives, aside of love, sadness, fear and the like. It is s the
only emotion that not just makes you sad, it has the power to rip you apart
from inside and out. It can make you feel not only like a sinner, but also a
total failure. It can be intense enough to not just make you cry, but bawl,
howl and sob uncontrollably, going on your knees or making you curl into fetal position until your stomach hurts, your head throbs, and to a point where you
cannot feel anything, anymore. It can leave you completely numb. It can
incapacitate you, and make you feel like you’re worthless. The very sight of
you, yourself in the mirror might become not just hard, but intolerable. You
might break the glass, and look at all the shattered pieces lying on the floor reflecting
a distorted image of you – exactly the way you feel about yourself. The blow
can sometimes be so hard that you might feel like hurting yourself over and
over again, the pain tantalising your senses mocking at your own helplessness.
It can make you so vulnerable that your heart might start weeping at the drop
of a hat. It can shake you, so badly, that it can become a task to ever leave a
normal life again.
You are
reminded of all the sins you have committed, at every walk of your life. Each
step can be a reminder of all the horrible things you have done in your past.
And there can be times where you know you’re sinning, but you still cannot take
your step back, maybe because of what’s at stake. It makes you not just alone,
but it can make you feel lonely.
The constant
clash between the logical mind and the ever-so-naive heart can tear you apart,
into bits and pieces, making your knees go weak, until you drop down to the
ground. But we must always remember that there is always someone to help us, in
the face of any crisis. The ground you fall down upon can also be a support to
you, so as to get you back on your feet again. Guilt is such a feeling that
cannot just make you go weak but it can also make you doubly strong.
Falling is
natural, but what matters most is how resilient we are. How well we cope and
bounce back depends entirely upon us. And if we believe we can do something we
want, we can achieve it no matter what. Nothing can come in between us and our
dreams and goals. And in the end, there is always a time to confess, and to
make ourselves as well as others who place their trust in us, care for us from
their hearts proud of us. :)
Dhriti.