As we grow, we realize so many things. Some very trivial, some pretty serious. And some quite serious yet seem so very trivial, and vice-versa. We also realize the importance of relationships, and everything associated with it.
There will always be that one person, ‘that one person’ you will always like despite all the differences,
despite all the indifferences.
That one person,
you will always have a thing for, no matter what the odds, no matter what the
circumstances.
That one person,
who always sweeps you off your feet, if it just a mere ‘okay’ response.
That one person,
who manages to bring a smile on your face with just one text of theirs’.
That one person,
who means the world to you, but you pretend you don’t care or doesn’t bother
you.
Confused and rattled, you wait. You wait, for the single
tick to turn into the double blue ticks to the ‘typing...’ sign. And when and if that happens, there is not just a
wide (and weird) grin on your face
but it feels as though, not butterflies, but the entire zoo is having a gala
time inside of your stomach.
The feelings, the emotions, the longing – it eats you up,
whole. It is like an obsession, but you always try to brush it aside, because
you know very well that, that person is and will never be yours. But you still
care, deep down. There is a faint sense of hope, but you rationalize and say ‘it’s
not meant to be’ so as to guard yourself of the harsh reality, a reality that
can rip you apart and leave you completely broken and bare. It makes you feel
so helpless. It’s a fight between the ego and the heart. But the ego finally
wins because you condition your mind to the three words that can bring you the
utmost level of comfort – “I don’t care.” And you try to manage that attitude
so well.
But you do care, in fact you care a lot. But you never show
it, and try to “play it cool”! But the very mention of that person’s name sets
your soul on fire. You’re so drawn to them that you just give in to your impulses
and rush to them at the drop of a hat, the attraction is totally magnetic. As
if they were the magnet and you were the iron, like they were the ‘oh-so
sinful-chocolate-brownie-sizzler’ and you were the one at the dieting end. It’s
an explosion of basic chemistry, only the test-tube here happens to be yourself.
So, you bury yourself with your ‘work’, you carry on to
achieve your dreams and goals, you try to ‘move on’ and go about with your own life – a life that gives you a
sense of identity, a life that you deserve. It brings you happiness, loads of
unconditional happiness. But somewhere, you know, you have that niggling
feeling, that always tells you that there is ‘that one person’ you will always be drawn to, you will always be
attracted to, you will always like. But at the same time, will never be yours.
And it’s okay.
Oodles of love,
Dhriti.
At my end:
1. I've been right around the corner, except I've been pretty busy with my research related work.
2. I am wondering where 2014 disappeared. singing the nursery rhyme *oh where, oh where..* :P
3. Very sleepy.
4. Goodnight. :D
5. PS:- lots of love. Again. *cheeky smile* :P